You've Got Mail
by DarkFaerieNyroc13
Summary: A collection of random conversations over e-mail connections by our favorite ninja. Humor, romance, humor, flying fish heads, humor, unobservant pandas, and did I mention humor?
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. They belong to Kishimoto-sensei. I do, however, own most of the usernames, all of the original characters, and the plotline of this story. Of course, it doesn't really have a plot line, but you get my drift.**

**WARNINGS: DarkFaerieNyroc13 is not responsible for any injuries that occur during the reading of this fanfic. Also, there may be some mildly suggestive screen names or comments, and there will probably be some mild language with some of the characters. Nothing too serious, though. I mean, come on guys, this **_**is **_**a humor fic. I'm not going to write anything innapropriate.**

**NOTES: These conversations occur during the era of Naruto Shippuuden. Apologies if I spelled that wrong. Yes, Sasuke has left the Village. And yes, there will most likely be Sasuke bashing. So I will discard most of any comments made to the effect of, "OMG! How dare U bash Sasuke! FLAME FLAME FLAME! Now I'm telling all my friendz how totally mean U R! OMG! I don't like U!" Also, "text talk" will also be discarded, burned, and then fed to the dodongos underneath my bed. Thank you, Fanatic, for teaching me proper grammar. Appreciation.**

**ANOTHER NOTE: Some of the chapters do include original characters. This information will be located **_**underneath the title of the chapter.**_** I you have not read my other fic, ****Dakota's Legend,**** you will probably have no idea who the original characters are. Just a warning. Original characters will NOT, however, be in all of the chapters, for those of you who just like Naruto without OC's. **

**Yep, I think that about covers it.**

**Well, enjoy!**

**-Nyroc**

* * *

**To:**

**From:**

**Subject:**

* * *

**Anonymous: Neji**

**PandawithKnives: Tenten**

* * *

**new email**

* * *

**Chapter one**

**(No original characters)**

* * *

To: Anonymous

From: PandawithKnives

Subject: Hello!

Hey! So, any reason why you won't talk to me?

P.S. Your username fools no one.

* * *

To: PandawithKnives

From: Anonymous

Subject: Go away.

For the third time, Tenten, I'm busy. So leave me alone.

P.S. It's not meant to fool people.

* * *

To: Anonymous

From: PandawithKnives

Subject: Ouch...

I know you're not busy because we just finished training an hour ago, Neji.

P.S. Then why'd you put "Anonymous" as your screen name?

* * *

To: PandawithKnives

From: Anonymous

Subject: Deal with it.

So what? I could be training alone.

P.S. Because I felt like it. Stop asking.

* * *

To: Anonymous

From: PandawithKnives

Subject: ...ouch...

I'm three feet feet away from you. Don't lie to me.

P.S. Fine. Be that way.

* * *

To: PandawithKnives

From: Anonymous

Subject: hn...

I can lie if I want to. Now leave me alone.

P.S. I think I will, thank you.

* * *

To: Anonymous

From: PandawithKnives

Subject: ...

Fine. I just won't talk to you anymore.

* * *

To: PandawithKnives

From: Anonymous

Subject: hn...

Whatever.

* * *

To: PandawithKnives

From: Anonymous

Subject: ...Did you die?

Hello?

* * *

To: PandawithKnives

From: Anonymous

Subject: ...Maybe she did...

Hello? Tenten?

* * *

To: PandawithKnives

From: Anonymous

Subject: I wonder...

TENTEN! ANSWER ME!

* * *

To: PandawithKnives

From: Anonymous

Subject: (no subject)

_(EMPTY MESSAGE)_

* * *

To: PandawithKnives

From: Anonymous

Subject: I guess she did...

Fine. Hate me then.

* * *

To: Anonymous

From: PandawithKnives

Subject: ...

Good. Glad you agree.

* * *

To: PandawithKnives

From: Anonymous

Subject: ...rats...

You just spoke to me.

* * *

To: Anonymous

From: PandawithKnives

Subject: .

...Jerk...

* * *

END.

* * *

**So? Like it? No? Yes, I do realize that there was some out-of-character-ness. Just tell me if you liked it, please.**

**-Nyroc**


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER:**** I no own, you no sue. Jobless lawyers go cry in a corner. (giggles) Hey, that doesn't rhyme!!! (Checks script) Hm...**

**NOTE:**** Yeah, yeah, I know I'm not great at updating. Job and school and all the other stuff get in the way. Sorry. Oh, and I decided that e-mails can't go three-way. So I changed it. Now they can. Go me.**

**WARNING:****OOC-ness. And maybe spoilers. Not that bad though.**

**SHOUTOUT:****Thank you, GuardianMariner and ninja-hidden-in-the-paddocks for reviewing!**

**Okay. On with the chapter!**

**(Wow. I think that was the shortest disclaimer I've ever done.)**

**Enjoy!  
**

**-Nyroc**

**

* * *

****lazywazymazy1630: Shikamaru**

**fanzRsmxy1830: Temari**

**YaY4pUpPetS!: Kankuro**

**betterthanthemedic: Ino**

* * *

**Chapter Two**

**(No original characters)**

* * *

To: lazywazymazy1630

From: fanzRsmxy1830

Subject: wooooooooooooooow...

Hmm... You're actually on for once.

* * *

To: fanzRsmxy1830

From: lazywazymazy1630

Subject: ...

Hn.

P.S.: Fans aren't "smxy"

* * *

To: lazywazymazy1630

From: fanzRsmxy1830

Subject: Surprising...

Amazing.

P.S. I guess not as smxy as you...

* * *

To: fanzRsmxy1830

From: lazywazymazy1630

Subject: Not really

Not that amazing. I'm just bored.

P.S.: Gag me.

* * *

To: fanzRsmxy1830

CC: lazywazymazy1630

From: YaY4pUpPetS!

Subject: Eh. It's debatable.

You must be pretty dang bored.

P.S.: BURN, SISTER!

* * *

To: YaY4pUpPetS!

CC: lazywazymazy1630

From: fanzRsmxy1830

Subject: ...

_DUE TO THE RATING OF THIS FANFICTION, THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE IS REQUIRED TO BE CENSORED.

* * *

___

To: fanzRsmxy1830

CC: YaY4pUpPetS!

From: lazywazymazy1630

Subject: ...!

...Wow. Get everything out?

* * *

To: lazywazymazy1630

CC: YaY4pUpPetS!

From: fanzRsmxy1930

Subject: ...

_DUE TO THE RATING OF THIS FANFICTION, THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE IS, ONCE AGAIN, REQUIRED TO BE CENSORED.

* * *

___

To: fanzRsmxy1830

CC:lazywazymazy1630

From: YaY4pUpPetS!

Subject: ...

Yikes. I didn't know there were that many curse words in the world's vocabulary.

* * *

P.S. DOUBLE BURN! REJECTION!!!!!!!!!

To: YaY4pUpPetS!

CC: lazywazymazy1630

From: fanzRsmzy1830

Subject: (no subject)

_DUE TO THE RATING OF THIS FANFICTION, WE ARE GOING TO RUN OUT OF CENSOR TAGS.

* * *

___To: YaY4pUpPetS!

CC: fanzRsmxy1830

From: lazywazymazy1630

Subject: -.-U

...Is your sister always like this, Kankuro?

P.S.: It wasn't rejection. I was simply...

* * *

To: lazywazymazy1630

CC: fanzRsmxy1830

From: YaY4pUpPetS!

Subject: eh... heh heh?

... Uhhh.... Sometimes...?

P.S.: Gagging?

* * *

To: YaY4pUpPetS!

CC: fanzRsmxy1830

From: lazywazymazy1630

Subject: ...

Exactly how often is 'sometimes'?

P.S.: ...uhmmm... yeah.

* * *

To: lazywazymazy1630

CC: YaY4pUpPetS!

From: fanzRsmxy1830

Subject: ...

_HUH. I WONDER HOW MANY CENSORS WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO TYPE...?_

* * *

To: lazywazymazy1630

CC: YaY4pUpPetS!; fanzRsmxy1830

From: betterthanthemedic

Subject: ...

...wow. I sure jumped in at the wrong point in time...

* * *

**END.****So, how was it? Kind of random. Well, really random. This one didn't really even have a point to it. Oh, well. Oh, and, to let you know, I did not enjoy typing Kankuro's user name over and over again. But Temari's bad mouth paid off. (nods)**

* * *

**Review, please, and I might be tempted to post another chapter...**

**-Nyroc**


End file.
